http://www.thewritingcentre.co.uk/ http://www.thewritingcentre.co.uk/images/stories/ucf-logo.gif http://www.thewritingcentre.co.uk/ http://www.thewritingcentre.co.uk/component/jreviews/ This story gripped me, even though I know nothing at all about climbing. I thought the explanations were woven well into the story, so as to make readers understand what it is all about. I felt the quality of the writing was very good, though I would like to make a few comments on some parts that could be improved upon, in my personal opinion. Some parts you seem to skip over - especially her relationship with Kai, they split up (?) and yet they keep talking to each other and in chapter three you mention that she loves him. I personally feel you need to elaborate on this, and work this out more fully into the story. Some things I found confusing. I wasn't sure whether the protagonist was a man or a woman. You start the story with someone bragging and exagerating, and at first I thought that it was this person who was telling the story - it wasn't, but that took a moment to sink in, and left me with the feeling that the protagonist is a man (also due to the person being a climber and most climbers being male - stereotyping I know, but I'd think that most of your readers would think the same) and not till the end of chapter one did I wonder if that was indeed so - it was not. You jump a bit within time and space, going backwards and forwards within her mind. This in itself is not a problem, but half the time, especially in chapter three, I was utterly confused as to what was going on, where she was and in what order things happened. I think this could be made clearer, especially as some of your tenses aren't used in the proper way, leaving one a bit in the lurch. I also find you have too many characters, new names keep popping up at random and I can't keep track of them, I don't know who is who at all. Peronally I feel you could have less of them, or at least, less mentioned in name but have clearer profiles of those you do use. Despite these things though, I feel this is a good piece of writing! ]]> Ottilia Pochat Find a Writer 2009-04-13 07:58:11 http://www.thewritingcentre.co.uk/component/jreviews/ Fascinating insight into the world of climbing and a woman in her 30s wanting to change her life. But how will you keep the conceit of the story structure going for 12 chapters? ]]> Susannah Marriott Find a Writer 2008-12-15 10:39:17